Just in case the writers for Southpark were running short of ruthless dictators, tyrannical maniacs or crazy pop stars to satirize, have no fear -- Terry Jones is here. Meet the nation's newest terribly unfunny joke: Jones is prepared, ready and all too willing to BURN THE KORAN on September 11, 2010 UNLESS he receives A CALL FROM THE PRESIDENT before then. Not even the law can stop this religious fanatic. His request for a burn permit from the city Fire Department was DENIED, the reason being "that [the] open burning of books is not allowed in the city due to fire hazard." Apparently people in the city of Gainesville prefer to read their books as opposed to using them to generate extra heat in a climate where the average temperature in September is a balmy 89 degrees. The entire nation is anxiously keeping an eye on Jones with everyone from Sarah Palin to the FBI Facebooking and tweeting their disgust and concern. Still, Jones is standing strong, borrowing a page from Willow Smith's Book of Lyrics and, "whip[ping] my hair back and forth…don’t let my haters take me off my grind." Smith's single leaked to the Internet just in time--because the world needs another balding crazy Preacher man AND a nine year old diva to liven things up a little, especially in the wake of the announcement from Arthur Sulzberger Jr., that "We will stop printing the New York Times sometime in the future, date TBD." A world without the Times looks bleak. Perhaps we ought to begin a new campaign in education: GIVE READING A CHANCE, subtitled Words HURT When You Burn Them and Suffer Manic Depression from Neglect. Read the Paper, Help a Word. And Stop Burning Books, Terry Jones. Go Green: We Don't Need Your Koran-burning Carbon Dioxide Fumes.
